I feel the need to post about an incident I recently witnessed at a Wedding. I know I'll strike a wrong chord somewhere here with a Vendor or two, but I'd really appreciate some feedback on this as I was honestly a bit stymied by this Vendors actions.
You'll note that I've taken the time to express how important it is to feed Vendors at a Wedding. We all know that being fed by our clients doesn't happen 100% of the time. I've had a Wedding where I actually purchased Vendor meals for all the Vendors on site with my own money because (disappointingly) my client decided not to feed her Vendors. However, I don't think we can begin to expect meals. Yes, it's nice, and when a client feeds us, we're very appreciative. Some of us have even gone the way of including it in our contracts. But I think there comes a point where we have to learn to put our empty stomachs aside and realize that we are doing a job and that the client comes first, not our grumbling stomachs.
At a recent Wedding, just as the guests were being seated, a photographer came to me and said "When are we being fed?" (I was assisting at this wedding; I wasn't the lead Planner). I answered "Likely after the guests have been fed". He looked a bit abashed, but understood. The timing was bad - he hadn't really considered that the guests were the priority. Not two minutes later I find the videographer standing in the doorway where the catering staff was busing food, demanding water (and presumably food, though I can't say for sure). This is where I became baffled. Presumably this wasn't this individuals first Wedding. He's likely aware of the order of events and has understood in the past that he will be fed, though it may take a few minutes. Logic would also suggest that standing in the doorway of the catering staff is the least effective way of obtaining food as it's only going to slow down the progress of getting the guests fed (aka: the IMPORTANT people at the event), and thus getting his meal more slowly.
Please know that I understand the need/desire to be fed. I'm hungry too! But I'm not so hungry that I lose my ability to recognize that the bride and groom (you know, the people who have given us work and who have paid us to be there)and their guests are the priority.
And my tip to Vendors (and perhaps I'm missing a valid point here): please bring snacks with you. Grab a couple of granola bars on your way out the door that morning/afternoon. Bring a couple of bottles of water with you. Yes, it adds weight to your pack of gear but isn't it better to carry 24oz. of extra weight rather than look like you only care about yourselves at an event? I would also suggest you talk to the Planner, the catering manager, or your client before the event. Be candid about when the best time for you to be fed really is. I realize that the timing that works for one Vendor may not be optimal for the next. I had a wonderfully frank conversation with a collection of photographers a couple months ago and got a whole new perspective on things. I now bring extra granola bars, water and Gatorade for all my Vendors on a site.
Thanks for reading - I do want your feedback. Good, bad, ugly. And please know I'm not pointing fingers and any one group of Vendors. I'm merely explaining what I experienced at this particular event. We all work very hard and we all appreciate being fed. I just wonder if I'm missing something because I see this kind of attitude time and time again at different events, whether mine, or another Planners. Until next time...
You cut the cake; I'll cut the chaos!
